I have always wondered what I felt like to loose someone you love. Not that I wanted to experience that any time soon but I figured the time would come, it comes sooner or later for everyone...It seems like it came too soon for us....
We lost Mami Lali Sunday, August 30th, 2009. Her body lost the battle to Pancreatic Cancer. But her soul was as triumphant as it has ever been, until the last moment. The last time I talked to her- one day before she went to Jesus- she pulled strength from her soul and sang, with such beauty, "Victory in Jesus".
I think of her everyday, I know my whole family does. It's like a dream. I still feel if I am going to see her soon or at least that's the hope I had. Don't take me wrong. I know if we believe in Jesus Christ we have eternal life, and there's no doubt in my mind she is with Jesus. But, I won't see her on this earth. Next time we encounter, I will see the urn containing her ashes.
Oh, how has this happened? This sadness overwhelms my soul. There is such sweetness in my memories of her, and the tears that flow without ceasing remind me of how much I love her. There is a special sweetness and sadness in my heart when I think of her.
I meditate in what I could have done better in our relationship...she lived in France, we had 7 hours of difference. Sometimes, it was too late to call her.
She never failed at calling me. Trying to reach out to me. She is one of the few that truly understood how hard it is to be far away from all you know, all you understand, those you grew up with, those that hold your same values, even the food you like...
I am trying to think positively. I know she is not suffering anymore. However, this sadness is still there. This sense of loss is still there.
I will hold on to the sweetness of this tears, of this hurt because they are a sign of love. They remind me I love her and she loved me. And, love will never die.
