Is Anything too Wonderful for the Lord?

The Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh, and say, “Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?” Is anything too wonderful for the Lord? At the set time I will return to you, in due season, and Sarah shall have a son.’ But Sarah denied, saying, ‘I did not laugh’; for she was afraid. He said, ‘Oh yes, you did laugh.’ Genesis 18:13-15

So much has happened during the last year. We went back to Peru last May, we had another baby, Gabriella Anise. It seems like we have been sooo busy.

Sometimes I feel like my routine is going to swallow me (including the laundry pile.)

Last October I had the opportunity to lead "The Workbook of Living Prayer" by Maxie Dunnam. We had an awesome group of people to read, pray and meditate with.

One of the many things that has stayed with me is the "bold requests" that we can have a hard time asking God for. We got to share them all. Things that may seem diminute or too big or just plain impossible. I had a couple.

- One of them was healing. Healing for somebody that is now part of my family. I told God I will not take "No" for an answer. We need it, she needs it. We need this miracle and will insist on it. Like the widow.

- Another request is about my weight. I need to loose 70 pounds. I have never been that light but I need to. I want to. But I need the strength and motivation to do so.

I started on Weight Watchers online about 13 weeks ago and have lost about 18 pounds. It feels good to get rid of some weight and fit into some of my clothes again. I had gained a lot of weight with my last pregnancy.

I have discovered many things about myself. I am an emotional eater. When I am sad, I eat. When I am happy, I wanna eat. You know. To celebrate or to comfort myself.
A couple days ago, I read a tweet from Rick Warren "When something eats us, we overeat.Gluttony is self-medication for unhappy emotions."

I do overeat. When something is really good, I have to have a lot of it.

When I am sad or stressed, I have found myself reaching for chocolate, ice cream, anything sweet.

So, I have been self-medicating myself. This external problem has deep internal roots. Lack of trust and reliance in the Lord. Not letting Him have my burdens.

I have been struggling this last couple weeks with Thanksgiving pies and Christmas candy. BTW, I have realized I like sweets a lot. According to Weight Watchers, the point is not to deprive yourself but to take reasonable, healthy measures of what you like. Change your habits.

So, I have found myself indulging and feeling guilty about it afterwards.

I have just lost 1 pound during the last two weeks. I failed to count my points many days. On purpose.

Today, I have to start again. Mondays is weight tracking day for me. And I feel disappointed that I wasn't more mindful and gave in really quick.

But, here we go, we start again. I guess the discovery is worth it. I have to cheer me up somehow. I have to remember my goal.

Before I went back to work I was exercising regularly. Zumba, weights, core, running, etc. It has been 14 months since I did that.

I feel like I am juggling everything trying to fit in all I need to do. My family, their activities, my work and now trying to incorporate myself is crazy.

This weight loss challenge has turned out to be deeper than that. Changing my habits, not just my eating habits, but my thinking habits, my trusting habits, my spiritual habits.

I am a hard one to deal with. When I think about my "bold request" I laugh like Sara did. I laugh because I think deep inside, I may not have the strenght in me, because I know my limitations. I know I am not a very disciplined person. I have never done it before. I like sweets too much. And, so much of it is about discipline.

At the same time I pray for all these things, for a change, for a dream that is more than a superficial desire.

And, when I do, I remember "Is anything too wonderful for the Lord"....

Is it?

Is anything too wonderful for the Lord?